I mentioned in an e-mail that lots of people are asking me this question, "When are you going back to Guatemala?". I too have thought about that question, but the honest answer is that I have no idea, none at all. Last year coming back to the states after living in Antigua and studying at language school I was very upset by the fact that I didn't know when I'd be going back to Guatemala. This year however I feel differently. I suppose a lot of it is because God taught me so much in my time there. I'm learning about being content with each and every moment and opportunity that God gives me along the way. I tend to look ahead at what is around the next corner and if there is something there to look forward to I'm doing ok, but if there is nothing there and life just goes on as normal I tend to get a little anxious. I need to find the balance between being content in today and yet figuring out how to plan for the future. But God tells us "don't worry about tomorrow" or to make plans to "go to this city or that city.
So, for now I just need to rest in the fact that God has a plan and He will show me what to do one step at a time. And along the way I want to be content and happy with the journey and not just seeking out a destination.
So, maybe I'll be back in 6 months . . . a year . . . 2 years . . . maybe never?
In the meantime I'm realizing that I have a lot to learn. I was challenged a lot about what it looks like to be involved in missions and what it means to do medical missions . . . and what is my role in all of that??? Not to mention the personal weaknesses that need to be worked on!
My heart is still in Guatemala - I'm not sure why? Why there, why those people? I still wonder if I'll ever live there and if I do how I will do that or who I will work with and where I would live. But those are the questions that I can't answer now and don't need to. There is a gap between where I am now and actually moving to Guatemala. So, if God desires for me to return, he will begin to fill that gap. And if not, then I will never regret every moment that I spent in that country and every person that I interacted with and every friend that I got to know! The best thing that I can do right now is leave it all in God's hands and let Him lead me step by step!
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2 comments:
well, even though you don't know, God does! And leaving things in His hands always the best place to be. I'm happy that you were able to have a great time and to enjoy learning new aspects about medical missions and all that stuff. Still wish I coulda seen you in Antigua--que lastima! Lots of ppl around here asking about you too. Been telling tale tales about you :P just kidding. miss ya.
Amen. You can never tell where God will place you as a missionary. I never expected East Dayton to be mine! It's tough to learn to live in the now where God has you. I'll be praying with you as you do that.
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