My niece is going through a little bit of a fearful stage right now. There are times when every noise becomes scary to her. Today she fixated on the noise of the large machinery doing some sort of work on the golf course across from their house. Every time she heard the trucks she would be afraid of it, run to the window to see what it was doing, worry that it would hurt her, or comment on how the noise was just too loud, over and over and over again. All of course unrealistic fears.
We decided to go to the library. I needed some coffee, and the girls needed a little snack. So, we were sitting at a little table and chairs, Josey eating her snack and Nora in my lap munching on goldfish. Josey decides to get up and move the stroller around, but the only way for her to push the stroller is to bend down and push it from the bar that runs between the wheels, so just a couple inches from the ground. Yes, she can push it, but not very well and not for very long without getting frustrated. She can't see where she is going and it is quite awkward to actually push it around. Regardless, like she does quite frequently, she decides she wants to push it. And she does, right into the table and chairs next to us. Realizing she is pushing but not actually moving she stands up, looks around, and then goes right back to try and push it and actually move the stroller, and this is repeated a couple times. She is really only caught on one of the chair legs and about a foot away from freedom go across the main entrance of the library.
Meanwhile, I'm watching all of this just smiling. I was reminded of how God sees the big picture, and me, well, I really can't see anything except exactly what is in front of me. And at the same time, how easily God can open and close doors, but only in His time and according to His plan. Maybe I'm only "stuck on a chair leg", but God knows what is best and maybe that is just where He wants me to be. Trusting Him with everything!!!
Oh, and unrealistic fears . . . ya, I have a few that God ends up hearing about over and over and over again.
Then we arrived back at her house and I was trying to unpack the diaper bag and take the appropriate items to the kitchen . . . bottle, sippy cup, snack bag, water bottle, snack cup, and maybe a couple more items. I had gathered them all up in my hands and Josey says, "No, don't take my cup home". So, I give her the cup, then she says, "No, don't take the bottle home". So I give her the bottle. We went through this with all of the items in my hands and so I just kept handing her all of the items until somehow they were all in her hands. She turns around to take the things to the kitchen, happy that she just rescued them from going to Aunt Amie's house (although I was really just taking them to her kitchen), and one of the items spill, then another, and then she realizes she needs help.
Oh wait, I do that with God! Decide that I can handle things better than He can so I try to do it all on my own, only to be overwhelmed and frustrated and start messing up everything!!!
I memorized these verses probably at least 20 years ago and still remember a little tune to sing them to:
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take".
And yet it seems like sometimes I still act like a 2 year old and try to do things on my own instead of depending on the only One who is worthy of trusting!!!!